Wednesday, March 11, 2009

the diagnosis...

I can't tell you how I felt when the test results for breast tumor came back positive. It's been four weeks since the diagnosis but I still don't know how I feel. I know I'm stuffing it all down and am trying to be brave about this whole thing but I feel I'm going to break down one of these days. I actually thought this whole thing is all behind's been more than 10 years since my first diagnosis and I was told I was out of the woods and that there is nothing to worry about. I was down to once-a-year check-up. I feel as if I built something and someone came in and knocked it all down as I nailed the last board.

The treatment: Bilateral mastectomy and 4 rounds of chemotherapy! I had the surgery done on February 11th and am now 80% recovered from the butchering. I'm still afraid to look at my chest and I hate to touch the scars when I'm in the shower. I tell myself everyday that I didn't need them and that they are not important, but somehow I feel like I lost a big part of my life (or body).

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